Do you have a ‘guardian angel’? You probably do. Have you ever been called a ‘guardian angel’ by some one? Not all of us have been there. I was given this coveted title by someone this morning.
It all happened over a phone call. “I didn’t even know you,” the voice on the other side said, “But, you walked into my life and helped me turn a new page,” she continued.
She was referring to a talk, I had given to a group of women about a month ago. Having battled breast cancer, I feel obligated to tell women to take care of their health. The particular lady in my audience had followed my advise. She had gone for a health check. Unfortunately, she had tested positive for breast cancer — a word I dreaded was uttered for the second time in my life.
As I tried to grapple with the new knowledge of knowing that someone else would now have to tread the path I had walked, it was unsettling. How, then, could I revel in the fact that, I was her guardian angel? Were angels not supposed to protect people? Why then, had I brought her this agony?
The lady on the phone spoke at length. I knew I had to listen and I wanted to listen. Besides, what could I tell her? I had no words. I stammered, I reassured but I didn’t feel good. Long after I finished the phone call, tears gave way and I nodded my head.
Friends and family only made it worse for me. “You did good,” they said. But, then, why it feel so bad? Why was I shaking and crying?
After nearly two gruelling hours, I sat down to understand my unsettled feeling. My life in the past year played out in my head. When I had first heard the words, I had wanted to hide. I was angry with every one and somehow, I felt punished. Punished for some wrong doing I wasn’t aware. I recalled the days of hope, the nights of despair and the many afternoons of deep reflection. My struggle with so many physical aspects — broken nails, hair loss, black nails, sore mouth stared at my face.
It was at that time, I had spoken to another person — a stranger who had been there and done that. As I had listened to her, I had felt reassured. A slow realisation had dawned that I would be around to enjoy the gifts of this world.
Now, as I thought about that moment, I was able to collect myself. The lady I had spoken to had given me hope and her own existence had reassured me. I probably did the same thing this morning. I gave my new friend hope exactly in the same way I had drawn mine. The path is tough — I know. It is strewn with hurdles and stones. I am scared if she will give up en-route. But, I also know that the human spirit can prevail against all odds. It is in those trying times that our convictions get tested.
I have hung around to learn my own self and man did I do a great job. Then, it dawned on me. I knew in the end, it would all turn out fine. That calmed me.
The journey is going to be a long and tough one. I prayed she would turn out fine and that made me smile. I guess, it is not so bad to be a guardian angel after all. I look forward to spreading ‘Hope’ to a lot more women.