I called out to Sid for the second time. The first time, of course, he didn’t hear. The second time, he said, “in a minute mom”. Needless to say, I waited for nearly 10 minutes before Sid showed up.
I would like to add here that, it is not always that Sid shows up after 10 minutes. Sometimes, he just forgets, which means, I have to call him a third time.
I can’t remember if I was like Sid in my childhood. I remember dad getting very upset if I didn’t respond immediately. Sid’s strange behaviour has caught up rather suddenly and it is only getting stronger. My strongest resolve to break this habit has been futile.
I recall the time, when Sid, as a little baby had begun to respond to his name. We would then, take turns to call him out. Sometimes, in the middle of a game, he would just lift his tiny head up and look for the caller. As he crawled, he would stop and look either side to check if he heard the name right. It was at that moment, that I had rejoiced — just to know, that, he could look up, and give the most beautiful toothless smile as a drop of drool escaped from the corner of his mouth.
Sid would sometimes, crawl as fast as his knees to carry him and run into my arms when he heard me or just smile the naughtiest smile, to hear a familiar voice call out. But, somehow, as the drool stopped flowing and the other noises took over my calls, the response has been a tad bit slower.
It can’t be me, I assure myself. When Sid was nearly two, he called out one day to help him pull along the little toy. As I put the toy upright and hurried to the kitchen to attend to my food on the stove, Sid called out again.
I juggled between a pull-along toy and my overcooked food in the pan, which was on the verge of getting burnt. In the end, I had half burnt food but a very happy child gurgling with laughter as he enjoyed the toy.
Yes. Whenever, I hear the little voice, I react. Many times, I have missed out on the crucial part of the movie. Other times, the entire dinner table has laughed on a joke and carried on with a conversation, because, just at the right moment, Sid sought my attention.
Just as I retrace, my journey as a mother for the last few years, I recall many incidents when, inspite of being a part of a group, I have been a mother mostly. I have missed conversations, jokes, entertainment, hot food and a lot of fun. Yet, although frustrating at times, I have given my undivided attention to the little boy in my life.
Given this, when Sid turned up nearly 15 minutes later, I was upset. “Why can’t you come immediately?” I demanded. “I was doing something,” Sid replied. I had a strange feeling in my stomach. Perhaps, Sid’s response would get slower as he grows older? I mulled over it.
Later that night, I tucked Sid in while my head still had clouds. Just as I was about to leave, Sid called out. He put his hands around my neck and said, “Love you, mom”. Then, planting a kiss on my cheek, he added, “you are the best!”
My heart melted and all I did was just smile. Well, would I have to get ready for the day, when Sid would call me on a rare Mother’s Day? Heck, I am not sure.
For now, I would much rather savour the moment and believe that Sid would call me every single day, when geographical boundaries separate us.